Verbalising problems and feelings can be hard. You may not want to burden others with your problems or you hope to work things out on your own. You may feel that others will not understand. Some are afraid they will be treated differently after expressing their problems, they won’t be taken seriously, or their feelings will either be trivialised, invalidated or even blown out of proportion.
What happens if you don’t talk it out?
Although these fears and hesitations are normal, it doesn’t mean we should refrain from finding someone whom we can share our feelings and problems with. Keeping it bottled up inside us can make the issue seem more complex, bigger and insurmountable than they really are.
It can also lead to these things:
- More stress
- Inability to concentrate on work and other things you need to do
- You dwell on the problem without constructively dealing with it
- Pent up emotions in the long term can lead to anxiety, depression and sleep disorders
We can suppress our problems and feelings for a while, but it doesn’t mean they are not there. If you do, you might find yourself bursting at the seams, snapping at the most trivial things because you have not dealt with the underlying cause of the issue.
Finding the right person to confide to
What’s important is not whether you should talk about your problems or not, but finding the right person to share it with. Seek someone you trust; someone who cares; someone you value the opinion of. Friends and family might not be experts, but a support system can help guide you through. Sometimes, all we need is a listening ear, not someone who will fix our issues for us.
You can also seek counselling to step in and help you manage your life challenges. Sometimes it is helpful to talk to someone who is not part of your life.
Talking about what we feel is not a sign of weakness
Does talking about your problems make you weak?
It certainly takes strength and a fair bit of discipline to act composed when we feel overwrought. But acknowledging your issues and making a conscious decision to share them with someone also takes strength, emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
Talking about what we feel is not a sign of weakness but a choice we make to positively influence our behaviour, take action and stay mentally healthy. It is a part and parcel of taking charge of your well-being.
Take charge of your well-being by expressing yourself
Talking through our problems and feelings can have beneficial effects on our well-being.
- Putting your thoughts into words can offer a huge sense of release and will make you feel generally better.
- Sharing your problems with someone will make you feel more connected and supported. It also allows you to form a deeper bond or relationship with another person.
- The feeling of heaviness is also lighter if it is shared with someone else.
- Verbalising your feelings can help you process what has happened emotionally and assist in finding meaning, acceptance or even self compassion.
- Explaining your problem or an incident requires you to draw together all the elements of the story in a logical manner, this helps your mind make sense of what has occurred.
- Acknowledging your issues and feelings allow those issues and feelings to rule over you. Own them instead of them owning you.
- You might be able to see things in a different perspective if you talk to a person outside the situation which can help you get close to finding a solution.
Society has taught us not to talk much about what we feel, perhaps that’s why we are a bit awkward when we do talk about them. But the moment we start acknowledging those pent-up feelings and issues is the moment we make them smaller and more manageable.
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